by Kira Charles, GCFP, Child’Space Practitioner

Lately there have been a number of articles about how people never get time away from work.  They are at the beck and call of the ubiquitous cell phone.  They are tired, overstressed and feel like there is no escape.  Did you know that babies can feel this way too?

You want your baby to be stimulated, to laugh, to look you in the eye and understand the little games you play with her.  But remember that your little one is really new to this great big, loud, bright, busy world.  Moreover, the brain is wide open, with billions and billions of neurons all sending information into that young brain.  Even in the happiest of moments, there can be that point when the baby has had enough togetherness.  Your baby craves your attention but she also needs to rest from the onslaught of information.

There are some undeniable signals that your baby needs a break, such as fussing or crying. However, babies also have other, more subtle ways of communicating. By using their eyes, their lips and their bodies, they can tell you when they are happy or when they have had enough.  Interpreting your baby’s personal idiom helps him to feel listened to and safe and may avert some meltdowns.

What are the small, subtle signs that a baby is ready for some downtime? Her color may change or her breathing may start to hitch. She may break eye contact and turn her eyes away.  Yawning, which is known as a signal of tiredness, can also mean that your child has looked into your eyes too long or played enough patty-cake.  Similarly, a slight turning away of the head is a way the baby says, “Give me a breather.”  If you ignore the signal, your baby might start to kick or wave her arms, frown, pout or tongue with an open mouth.  This is an opportunity to back off before the baby really lets you know she’s had enough by pushing away with her feet or strongly turning away or going into a crying jag. These signals don’t mean that you can’t continue your conversation or game in a moment.  It just means your baby needs some breathing room.

Downtime does not only mean sleeping.  Downtime can mean allowing the baby to just lie quietly and watch the sun move across the room.  That would probably be a little slow for you, but fascinating to a baby.

Understanding cues can make you a better parent and attune you to your baby.  “Attunement” is the term used to describe the way a parent reacts to a baby’s moods and emotions. Well-attuned parents detect what their babies are feeling and reflect those emotions back in their facial expressions, voices, and other behaviors.  The role of attunement is important in helping children to recognize and regulate their own feelings.   By responding to your baby with warmth and consistency and by respecting your baby’s need for a break, you build feelings of trust and sense of self and deepen your relationship as well.

by Dan Rindler, Child’Space Practitioner, GCFP

An interesting article came my way this week about infants and language development.  It turns out that when your baby is listening to someone speak, long before they themselves can talk, their motor cortex is active.  That is the area of the brain associated with planning and coordinating movement.

When adults learn a new dance step, or to play an instrument or some other complex new coordination, we often think it through before carrying it out.  As we imagine ourselves making the movements, the motor cortex is active during the imagining, the same area that will be active when we execute the movement.  Its a rehearsal of sorts and one that many professional athletes and performing artists utilize, as well as being a common feature of Feldenkrais classes for adults.

Turns out babies are likely doing something like the same thing for many months before we hear them speak.  Rehearsing the movement in their minds to produce the sounds they hear (and the lip and tongue movements they see) their parents make when they speak.  You can read the rest of the article here.

by Dan Rindler, Child’Space Practitioner, GCFP

I read this short article today, titled “Babies are Kinder After You Dance Them.”   The point of the article is excellent and I recommend it, but the title could use a re-write!   The author’s measure of babies being “kinder” is that they were willing to pick up an object that an adult dropped.  And then there’s “Dance Them”.  Which definitely should be “dance with them.”   When we dance and sing we experience rhythm and movement together and find ourselves feeling a new connection to each other.  I think parents in my classes who may not be used to singing together with other adults experience this with each other as well.  So, I think I might have titled the article, “Babies and Parents are More in-tune After they Dance Together” but perhaps that wouldn’t have gotten the article as many “clicks”!

It reminds me of this favorite quote of mine from VJ Ayer, in which he says that rhythm is a kind of empathy.

“The way that the brain works when we are perceiving rhythm, is that the parts of the brain that light up are the parts involved in motor sequence planning.  It’s about making limbs move as a response to rhythmic activity but its not just a response to it…  In a way your body wants to regenerate that same activity that gave rise to that sound.  It’s a kind of empathy.  Its that kind of resonance that we have in our body with other bodies doing similar things.  When we hear somebody doing something we want to do it too.  Rhythm is the reason that we’re able to do anything together.”   – Vijay Iyer on the NPR show Bullseye

by Dan Rindler, Child’Space Practitioner, GCFP

Diapers, Toys and Helmets!   Parents are being marketed to like never before with new products coming out all the time for babies. Unfortunately many of the products created for infants these days have more to do with convenience for parents, and may not actually support optimal infant development.  This is part II of a series of baby items I suggest are best avoided and a few recommendations too.  Part I can be found in the blog below.  I originally wrote this list for my good friend when his wife was expecting.  I hope you’ll find it helpful!

These are general guidelines, and every baby is different.  Please take this in the spirit intended: as a list of suggestions.  Watch your baby closely and make up your own mind about what is best!

Items to Cross Off the Registry and a Few Recommendations Too:

Oversized Cloth Diaper Systems.   Some cloth diapers with an outer and inner layer are so bulky that they restrict babies’ hip joints.  If you decide to go with cloth diapers, pre-folds are best for allowing movement, though maybe not the most convenient for out of the house.  You can get “snappi” brand clips to put them on easily.  G-diapers and “Happy-Heinies” are brands that seem pretty good for the layered type partly because they come in several sizes.  (No I never thought I’d be researching something called “happy heinies” for my work!)   I’m no diaper expert, I’m sure there are other excellent brands.  The idea is to look for whether your baby can bring their knees towards their chest with similar ease to when they are naked.

Padded Helmets for Toddlers   As hard as it can be to see them get the many little bumps of early standing and walking, your baby needs the little bumps of every day life to learn balance.  A helmet isn’t necessary, and alters their balance.   (This isn’t referring to the helmets prescribed for infants with flat-head syndrome

Bouncy Seats That are Almost Vertical.  Look for a bouncy seat that puts baby in a reclined position to support the naural “c-curve” of their spine.  The same goes for swings.

“Sleep Seats or Positioners”  These have become popular in the last few years.  Some babies may sleep better in them but it’s because their movement is being inhibited.  Parents who use cribs know that their babies move a surprising amount around the crib.  Often they find new coordinations of movement that they don’t exhibit in any other context.  Babies who sleep in a device that fixes their position lose out on that opportunity.   These devices are often recommended for babies with reflux, but in many cases a better solution that allows the baby to move is preferable.

Only Terry Cloth or Plush Toys.  Nothing wrong with these but I find many parents have few solid, hard toys.  Wooden toys give babies the sensory feedback they crave as they learn where their bodies are in space and how they move.   They’re more satisfying to mouth as well.   Keep in mind that for the first few months your baby will hardly be interested in any toys and instead will be interested in their body, their environment and especially your face.  In later months, it isn’t necessary to have tons of toys, you can keep it simple.

A seemingly infinite number of toys that are based on classics but now cost 5 times as much because they light up and play music and vibrate.  Pushing a button to make something electronic happen is not a lesson we need to work hard to expose them to, they will be surrounded by electronics soon enough.  Why not begin, at least mostly, with toys where your baby can actually see and feel the effect that he or she has on it.  These also don’t overwhelm/over stimulate them so much that they tune out of their own sensations.

I recommend toys such as: a rattle with a nice handle to grip, a ball to roll, old fashioned alphabet blocks to manipulate, a cylindrical rolling toy to crawl after, and a bead maze – those beads on bent wires – these are toys that keeps them busy through many stages.  No need to go overboard with toys for babies- younger babies don’t need them at all, and when they do become interested, only a few are needed.  Also, wooden kitchen spoons and a few pots and pot-lids make excellent toys for crawling babies.  Toys that show cause and effect are part of the idea here – not something that entertains for 10 minutes after pressing a button.

And finally, my recommendation of THE ULTIMATE DEVICE for supporting your baby’s motor development is…….the floor!  So many parents tell me they can’t find the time in the day to give their baby tummy-time.  I believe this is largely due to the many unnecessary contraptions that we are inventing to put our babies in.  Time spent in chairs, jumpers and more mean that your baby will be missing out on vital time spent on the floor learning about his or her body and how it works.  I encourage all parents to use these devices sparingly and they are often surprised to hear what we have in our house for our baby: a crib to sleep in, a “bouncy seat” that is at an angle that is close to lying flat to contain him while we make dinner, and a dedicated spot on the living room rug.  That’s all!  If you adopt a similar simple set-up to ours, there’s no need to remember “tummy-time” – when your baby isn’t being held, she will be on her back, sides, and tummy throughout the day, and learning so much about herself and her world in the process.

by Dan Rindler, Child’Space Practitioner, GCFP

Parents are always curious and bring up this question in my Child’Space NYC classes and private sessions.   Many parents notice that their baby has a preference to use one hand more than the other and it can be fun to speculate if your baby will be a “righty” or a “lefty.”  But, you may be surprised to learn that “handedness” isn’t neurologically set until nearly 3 years of age, and sometimes even later.  Infants may begin to show some preference around the time they are moving in and out of sitting independently and crawling but they should still use both hands often.  Sometimes, this ambidextrousness continues well past 3 years old before one hand becomes clearly dominant.

Babies may have a preference for using one hand a little more often than the other, but it’s very important that parents don’t cater to that preference.  If a parent decides his or her baby is left-handed for instance, and that parent begins putting toys, a spoon, etc. into baby’s left hand only, it can limit the baby’s motor and even cognitive development.   Babies need to use both hands for the development of their muscles, coordination and balance.  Using only one hand largely helps build connections in the half of the motor cortex which is associated with that side of the body.  If you encourage your baby to only to use one hand,  you may actually be affecting the development of their brain.

Recommendations:  If you notice that your baby uses the same hand very consistently and seems clearly left or right handed, consult your pediatrician, as it may be a sign of an issue.  Be sure to engage your baby to touch, reach, grasp, lean, and more on both arms more or less equally.   Play traditional baby-games like “This Little Piggy” (its not just for toes!) or pat-a-cake to engage your baby to better sense, feel and move their hands and fingers.  If you’ve taken a Child’Space class, you know to use the tapping and other touch techniques of Child’Space Method on your baby’s arms and shoulders when they are trying to reach for a toy.  As you play with your baby, place toys in locations that will encourage them to reach both arms in many different trajectories, so that they practice movements outside of those that are habitual for them.

Learn more, or find classes and private sessions to support your baby’s development:  www.childspacenyc.com